Getting real about something…

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”    – Brene Brown

On 4 December 2017, not only did I welcome beautiful Noa to the world – I also welcomed in a brand new life.

A life of broken sleep, tiredness, gorgeous smiles, changing nappies, divine love, sleeping routines (or lack there of), cuddles, cuteness, crying and finding my feet as a human being all over again.

It’s also a life of being brave – ever travelled with a screaming baby in the back of the car for more than 10 mins? – rarely getting to sit down for a full meal and letting go of everything I want to get done in a day. I now celebrate extraordinary productivity when I get one or two items checked off my list!

If I’m learning one lesson in this – and truth be told, I may need to relearn this one a few times – it’s communicate and be vulnerable. Share what’s actually going on no matter how silly it may sound.

Yesterday I called my sister and asked if I could ‘workshop’ something with her. You see I’ve relocated to Canberra for the time being (my partner’s daughter lives here and it’s the most elegant of scenarios) and I’ve been feeling a little isolated with my family and friends being in Sydney, and having a baby who, at this moment, really dislikes travelling in the car!

Since I was young, I’ve had a story that being ‘isolated’ with a newborn baby is about the hardest and worst thing imaginable. And when I looked at my life I saw that Monday to Friday, I was at home with my baby…. alone. Suddenly my worst case scenario was happening and I wasn’t happy about it!

In chatting with my sister I got that it’s pretty common for mothers to feel isolated. Phew, I wasn’t alone in my aloneness. Somehow sharing this upset with my sister and hearing that she went through something similar made it all ok. I suddenly felt connected to the billions of mothers before me.

Freedom lies in saying the thing you don’t want to say.

Looking after a new baby is challenging at times. Taking on anything new is challenging at times – and it should be! After all, we are learning this for the first time. What makes it easier is to be in communication with what’s actually going on for each of us in our lives. We don’t need to have it all handled, or always have it together. No one does (please note the inaccuracy of social media) and it doesn’t make us less amazing to share our challenges. In fact, it actually makes us stronger.

When someone is real with you, vulnerable, it makes you love them even more. It is the essence of true human connection. The thing that brings us all together.